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iiE Stephen

I have no regrets. There's nothing to forget. All the pain was worth it.

I'm not running from my past. I tried to do what's best. I know that I deserve it.

Whether it's heaven or hell, I'm going to be living to tell. So here's my story, no risk, no glory ...

It's All About Survival

JANUARY 18th 2005

American Idol season 4 starts tonight! DC baby, Yeah!

JANUARY 19th 2005

This season of American Idol has already started out being the most entertaining. Thank you DC for living up to standards and providing us with quality FREAKS!

The highlights:

Look at her, just moments after having all of her hopes and dreams of a singing career crushed. Fucking great! I loved it!

Ok, this one sold her wedding ring, not her karaoke machine, to come to DC to audition. Suffice it to say her husband is none too thrilled. Wait! It gets better! Her ring was only worth $200. HAHAHAHAHAA

Yo yo yo! Represent South East!

I love how anyone that "represents" always represent the freakin ghetto!

Oh! ... and that 5.9 on his bandana. That "represents" the percentage of liquor in whatever the hell ghetto bottle of cheap booze he used to drink. He's a recovering alchie now. Fucking quitter!

This thing thought she looked like Madonna. I'm not sure where the resemblance is, but her friends have alleged to have told her this. I think her friends are either blind or just plain liars!

She butchered Hanky Panky, while spanking herself. It was just sad. Hard to watch.

This one thought she was looking good, feeling gorgeous. "Just because you don't have money doesn't mean you can't look like you do." Her words.

Simon asked her what those scratches were on her arms. She made up some story about dressing in the dark.

*pause for effect on that one*

Kids, it's called Stretch Marks.

Mary Roach

"The voices in my head are saying that they can't believe you think my singing is terrible. They are saying You all look much different in person, then on TV. Randy you are thinner. They are saying Mark McGrath is a hottie ......."

FUCKING INSANE she was!

Yeah, that's DC!

JANUARY 20th 2005

... but not a word was spoken.

The church bells all were broken.

A DAY OF MOURNING

JANUARY 22nd 2005

I was out in a freezing snow storm, today, freezing my ass off. The things I'll do, so that I can shop!

Look at me!! Freezing cold and wet. I already feel a cold coming on.

It was like a foot of snow, all over the place. I haven't seen that kind of snow in a long time. I don't miss it.

JANUARY 23rd 2005

I saw Rent last night! It freakin' rocked!

P.S. Drew Lachey is even hotter in person!

JANUARY 24th 2005

Karen Walker wasn't kidding when she talked of a "strange underground city" in New York. How those people can figure out that Subway system up there is beyond me. There's like 4 sets of tracks going through each station, rather than the simple 2 sets of tracks like DC's Metro system. They have I don't know how many different lines that they number or letter, instead of use a simple color system like here. The underground tunnels go forever, instead of a simple direction to get out. It's filthy dirty. There's hardly any room to stand. You have to walk up and down stairs, because of no escalators or elevators, at least not that I saw. And noisy! And expensive! Would you believe it's $2 for every single trip?! I only pay that much if I ride the Metro all the way to Virginia. I usually only pay $1.45.

DC's Metro pisses me off almost daily, but I thank Versace I'm not dealing with New York's!

JANUARY 28th 2005

I'm sick. Fucking cold weather. *flips it off*

JANUARY 30th 2005

It snowed again. WTF?! Just as it was about all melted from before.

FEBRUARY 2nd 2005

American Idol last night ..... How sweet was LL Cool J to have a heart and go give that fat girl a hug? I love him for that.

More importantly though, Anthony the "miracle angel"..... He's my new boyfriend. He is so cute it's not even funny. To top off the good looks, he can sing! He is now my reason to watch this season. He's gonna win and then afterwards we're gonna go get married!

*sighs*

FEBRUARY 4th 2005

Yay New York!

N.Y. court asserts marriage rights for gays

Ann Rostow, PlanetOut Network

SUMMARY: In a historic 62-page decision, a New York judge ruled on Friday that the Empire State marriage laws impermissibly discriminate against same-sex couples.

In a historic 62-page decision, a New York judge ruled on Friday that the Empire State marriage laws impermissibly discriminate against same-sex couples.

Justice Doris Ling-Cohan wrote that the liberty interest at stake for the five plaintiff couples was nothing less than the fundamental right to choose one's spouse, ruling that New York City, in turn, would have to present a compelling reason for restricting marriage to heterosexual couples.

Laws that violate a "fundamental" right, such as the right to marry, must be narrowly tailored to serve a compelling state interest. Most courts avoid holding marriage laws to such a rigorous legal test through the semantic strategy of announcing that the "right to marry a same-sex partner" is not fundamental.

In Friday's ruling, however, Justice Ling-Cohan resisted that tactic, forcing the defendant city of New York to come up with a powerful justification for the ban on same-sex marriage. The city failed the test, offering the unconvincing explanation that marriage has traditionally been defined as a heterosexual institution and, further, that the city and state must keep their definition of marriage the same as that of other states (as well as the federal government) in order to avoid confusion.

In concluding her opinion, Ling-Cohan ordered the definition of marriage in the state's Domestic Relations Law to be rewritten with gender-neutral terms, allowing same-sex couples to marry throughout the city's jurisdiction. The ruling was suspended for 30 days from the entry of judgment in order to allow the city to appeal if it so desires.

The administration of Mayor Bloomberg is under no obligation to appeal. New York City has long banned both sexual orientation discrimination and transgender discrimination.

The state of New York passed a statewide gay rights law in 2002. Furthermore, last year Attorney General Eliot Spitzer signed off on an informal opinion that indicates New York will recognize same-sex marriages conducted elsewhere, and expresses concern about whether continued denial of marriage licenses to same-sex couples was constitutional.

Spitzer had earlier declined to take a stand in this case against New York City, asking the court not to read anything into his lack of participation.

The challenge to state marriage law in New York City was brought by Lambda Legal, which hailed the ruling as "historic."

"Our clients got full and fair consideration in this case, which is all we asked for," said Lambda's Susan Sommer, who was lead attorney in the case. "The court obviously looked carefully at the state Constitution and the rights and protections that same-sex couples were being denied because they couldn't marry."

Meanwhile, another freedom-to-marry suit was filed in Albany by the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of 13 same-sex couples. In that case, the lower court ruled against the plaintiffs, and the ACLU is waiting to hear whether the state's highest court, the Court of Appeals, will review the decision.

FEBRUARY 14th 2005

FEBRUARY 21st 2005

So American Idol tonight ......

As would be expected, I voted for Anthony.

but ummm, well Mario Vasquez is damn good.

FEBRUARY 22nd 2005

I think I was able to better judge the girls on American Idol, since I wasn't prejudiced by their looks quite as much. :-P

That being said - Isn't Mikalah the cutest thing?! I absolutely love her personality and voice!

However, Jessica kicked her ass on the singing. I was very impressed with her talent.

FEBRUARY 27th 2005

I went to the National Zoo today, to see the new baby cheetahs. They were cute lil kitties. Just fluff balls. It was funny to watch them and their mother play. It was just like watching big house cats.

I'm still partial to Tian Tian. He was outside playing when I was there. Soooooooooo cute!

MARCH 10th 2005

Lets get this out there - That kid accusing Michael Jackson of doing perverted things to him is lying his ass off! We haven't even gotten to the point where the Defense makes their case and already they've proven both kids are liars!

I'm so relieved this is going well. I'm not sure if I can deal with another celeb in jail. Martha being put in the slammer is more than I can deal with!

MARCH 11th 2005

Am I the only one that was excited about the Judge being shot down in Atlanta? I needed a new story to read other than the same bs about Iraq, Social Security, or some politician gay bashing.

There is a special place in hell for me. I know this. I don't care.

MARCH 23rd 2005

Reason number 9,872 that I'm going to hell:

Me: Is it wrong of me to keep checking cnn.com to see if Terri Schiavo is dead yet?

Friend: No. I do the same. LoL

Me: LoL The anticipation is killing me.

MARCH 29th 2005

Jerry Falwell in Critical Condition

Mmhmm ... He's rushed back to the hospital after one of his sermons on Easter. What's that tell him about what his god thinks of him? Perhaps
misrepresentation?

MARCH 30th 2005

AP Washington, DC ― Stephen Paul made the following comments this morning:

“I am saddened and dismayed by Johnnie’s passing. He was an asset to the community and he will be missed.”

I can't freakin' believe he died. Here I am waiting for Terri to die, the Pope to keel over and praying for the Falwell asshole to die and Johnnie goes. WTF?!

MARCH 31st 2005

FINALLY! I never thought poor Terri would ever be allowed to die, the poor thing.

Of course Bush feels the need to hold a press conference over it. Fucker can't acknowledge the fact that he's killing millions in this Iraq fiasco, but he can go ahead and stick his nose in on a vegetable. I did enjoy him saying, "....continue to work to build a culture of life where all Americans are welcomed and valued and protected"

That's for ever American except Gay Americans right?

APRIL 1st 2005

Well in keeping with the death trend this week, Frank Purdue, the chicken guy, died.

When the hell is the Pope gonna kick the bucket?

APRIL 2nd 2005

Now the Italian Press teased me yesterday afternoon and said he was dead. So I'm having a hard time believing now that the Pope really is gone.

Just the same I hope so. I was about tired of hearing the bigoted old bastard talk about the evil gay people and the sinful feminists.

*makes cross sign with my middle finger*

APRIL 9th 2005

So I went to the Duran Duran concert last night with a friend. No this is not the usual concert I'd go see, but free tix! What the hell! A lot of middle aged people trying hard to recapture their youth. I couldn't condemn that too much. I can see myself, in my 40's, going ape shit about seeing Madonna. LMAO I'm envisioning a grandma Madonna singing Erotica from her wheelchair, blanket over the legs, shawl over the shoulders.... Hahahaa

Anywho! So back to this Duran Duran thing. Middle aged men hopping around on stage singing songs that I didn't know. (I was like 2 when they were big) Blah blah blah singing, blah blah blah me laughing, blah blah blah more music, then somewhere between the songs I didn't know, come something about anti war, anti bush. I loved them at that point. The rest of the audience however ..... this concert btw is in middle America, bible belt Virginia. Boos and profanities from the audience. He didn't give a shit. He was gonna say what he had to say. Then they brake out into a Give Peace a Chance, down with war, Imagine type song that reinforced what he had just said.

Now here's where hypocrisy is at it's finest. The assholes that just screamed for him to shut up for saying anti war sentiments were dancing and singing away like stoned teens with this song. They obviously weren't bright enough to realize what the song was saying.

Freakin' idiots!

APRIL 10th 2005

Yesterday in DC around the Tidal Basin. Isn't it pretty?

Oh and I went down to the Reagan Building to see the Mickey Mouse statues!

Here's the pics -----> Celebrate Mickey 75 InspEARations!

APRIL 12th 2005

So as I sat in my office bored out of my head, watching the season 1 DVDs of Mad About You, I remembered a conversation I had with a friend (ie acquaintance I say friend just to make me look like I have a social life.) over the weekend about Dante's Inferno. Me, having never read the book but tried my damnedest to appear like I had to this friend, thought perhaps I should Google this Dante and his hell to see what it's all about. (http://www.arches.uga.edu/~redman/hellintro.html gives a pretty good overview) Well I was a touch disappointed to find out that my fat ass would only make it to the 3rd level of hell! WTF?! I wanted to be on the right hand side of Lucifer!

From what I read even murderers only get to the outer circle of the 9th level. All that was there with the Devil was Judas (guy that betrayed Jesus. Blah blah blah got him hung on the cross) So not fair. Funny part though, Popes, Cardinals and Priests get level 4! Hahahhaa Fuckers are worse than me.

APRIL 15th 2005

Hells yeah! Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch hit stores on DVD August 30th! I can't wait.

"My friends need punished."

APRIL 16th 2005

FLASHBACK!

I was just looking at a friend's website with old pics of us all. Funny memories!

	Me trying to be all butch and military for the American Life Release Party back in 2003.
Same night ..... After hours at a hotel over in Scott Circle or Thomas circle. I don't know, one of those circles!

	How drunk were we for Memorial Day 2003 up in Annapolis?!

An undated pic of a night at Velvet ..... Madonnarama 2002 I think.

MAY 5th 2005

Today started Disney's "Happiest Celebration on Earth" to commemorate the 50th anniversary of opening Disneyland.

MAY 8th 2005

Did you ever wish you could just call do over on your life? Yeah.

MAY 9th 2005

November 18th!!!

MAY 10th 2005

I hate men!

MAY 11th 2005

Reason #886 why I hardly go on gay.com.

This is how the conversation starts and coincidentally ends:

bhan_nardrum: hi
Stephen: hey
bhan_nardrum: do you like to be fisted?

WTF?!?!

MAY 12th 2005

Oh what a stressful day! I go into the office, check voicemail, send out a few emails and decide perhaps I should go to Cosi, sip on coffee and "work remotely". I grabbed Debbie and off we went. Well son of a bitch! I couldn't get the internet working on the laptop. So we were forced to just sit there and yap, drinking coffee.

How disappointing that I couldn't work.

So after a depressing morning of no work, we did lunch and then I just went home to nap. How was I supposed to work after such a morning?

:-P Hehehee

I've been stressed the past few weeks and I'm taking full advantage of these few days off to relax and smell the flowers.

MAY 13th 2005

I've decided that I should start giving feedback to my tricks*.

I sent the last one a friendly email, "That was the most boring 5 minutes of my life."

Hopefully he takes the constructive criticism and uses it to improve himself!

*note this is a very rare occurrence that I would do such things.

MAY 14th 2005

I want to die. Last night, I went to happy hour. I thought I just had 4 or 5 glasses of margarita. No, more like 4 or 5 or so pitchers of the stuff.

Is it normal to get excited every time I throw up, thinking of the poundage I'm loosing? Anything to loose weight!

Margaret Cho tonight!!!!!

MAY 15th 2005

Margaret rocked! We had some awesome seats. OH! She was filming the show for the DVD. I'm sure she opted to have this show taped, as soon as she heard Phil and I were coming. It's always a plus to show super celebs in the house when filming and all.

MAY 16th 2005

Dude this is how big Madonna is - Israel's Foreign Minister Silvan Shalom's wife couldn't get a photo op with Madonna when she was in Israel last year! Mrs. Shalom is making heads roll over the ordeal. Her assistant has been sacked as has a few diplomatic positions! Seems that Madonna did not want to deal with any politics during her visit, hence the snub. Ha Ha Ha! Go Madonna!

MAY 17th 2005

I'm extremely saddened and disheartened to hear of this news. She does seem to be in very upbeat spirits. Finding it and treating it early is a good thing that usually ends up positive. I do hope she uses this opportunity for good and becomes some sort of voice for cancer victims after all of this. The more voices like hers the better.

In other news - Who the hell do the US Senators think they are trying not only accusing British lawmaker George Galloway of profiting from the U.N. oil-for-food program, but telling him that there will be consequences against him?? This country's government needs to take a step back and realize that they do NOT have authority over the entire world. How dare they even be so arrogant as to insinuate such things.

I absolutely LOVE Gallowway's comments! "Now, I know that standards have slipped over the last few years in Washington, but for a lawyer, you're remarkably cavalier with any idea of justice," Galloway told Coleman, chairman of the Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs investigation subcommittee.

He then accused Coleman of sullying his name before giving him a chance to defend himself and of using the oil-for-food investigation to hide the failures of U.S. policies in Iraq. "Senator, this is the mother of all smoke screens," he said

Madonna's next album named

Madonna has revealed that her next album will be entitled Defying Gravity.

She has completed eight songs from the album, scheduled for release next January. A source told The Sun: "Madonna has played her new material to Warner label bosses for the first time and they love it. There is a rockier edge and the usual electronic influence."

Not sure that I believe any of it or not, but it's still giving me goosy bumps!

So tonight is the finale for this year's American Idol. It's going to be Carrie or Bo. I could give a rat's ass which way it goes. I won't be buying either of their cds anyways! Kelly Clarkson none of them are!

MAY 29th 2005

Alright, some funny shit!

So I’m waiting at Fort Totten for the Metro with Phil. About 5 or 6 black kids standing there yapping about sex. The chunky one is talking about how he got crabs. I’m laughing. Dumb fuck! Gets them twice from the same “ho”. How damn dumb do you have to be to get them twice from the same freakin bitch?! Alright now he knows I’m making fun him. I’m not hiding my laughter. So it’s his turn to fuck with me. Whatever! I give it, so I expect to get it back here and there.

So the gay jokes start. Bravo! Hard hitting, never before heard jokes! What can you do but laugh at these fresh jabs?

Once on the Metro, they ditch the gay approach. Start making racial jokes at us. Wasn’t real sure cause I haven’t watched enough BET, but seemed as though they were making black jokes at us. Clearly we are white, especially me. I’m pale white (I need to get some sun). So I just stare at them.

Now comes the dick size jokes. Apparently the chucky one has a big cock. So he tells me that it’s bigger than mine. So I say, “Well duh Captain Obvious! You’re black. I would think it was bigger.” (I judge this from past experiences.) Right over his head that one went. He goes onto another one about him being 15, with a bigger dick than someone my age. I try again, “Well I think you black boys come out with bigger dicks don’t you?” Still over his head.

Now his lil friend steps in. Asks about us graduating college, because we look like college dropouts he tells us. I look at him a bit. Then ask him if he’s graduated grade school yet. Well he wasn’t able to articulate it, but could show me on his fingers that he was in 8^th grade. I just laugh. What could I say?

Chunky comes back in with some shit to brag on. He tells me that he’s “getting more pussy” than me. Well of course you freakin mentally challenged asshole! I’m a faggot!

Next, Chucky tries to make a fat joke at me. Wow! Fuck me raw! Some hard hitting shit there. Alright, I’m fat! So is he. So I point out to him his own double chin.

Now this fugly looking kid, with a huge crater like scar on his face, tries to make an ugly joke towards me. I just pointed to his face. I mean come on! This is too easy!

Eventually Metro pulls up to their stop. Now this is where it really hits home. Before they leave …. *tabs tears* …. They umm, they tell me I’m white. Now that stung. Then call me a cracker! OMG! Ouch! I mean wow! Holy fuck! Shit, they really got me on that one. Ooops I'm white! I'm a freakin cracker! I had NO fucking clue!

Kids, next time try harder or get me on a day that I haven't had my happy meds!

All in all – Some good times!

MAY 30th 2005

Star Wars episode III after a pitcher of Margarita rocks!

JUNE 1st 2005

Happy Pride Month!!!

JUNE 2nd 2005

This is a video!

Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice

JUNE 3rd 2005

Lookie my new God Puppy, Ani!!!!

Went to see the The Nationals vs. The Braves last night. First baseball game ever for me to go to. It was fun! I butched it up, threw back a few brewskies, screamed and cheered and cussed at the Braves fans. We lost though. WTFE! I want to go again!